Negotiating Your Job Offer

I see you’re back for more(; So far, we’ve discussed what “Finding Your Unique Value” looks like and “How to Land Your Dream Job,” but we haven’t touched on what to do once you have that offer in hand…until now. Cue mischievous smirk.

Women are expected time and time again to accept what we are offered at face value and assume that’s as good as it gets. We are seen as aggressive or bossy if we speak our mind, act assertively or question anything.

True story: In an annual review, I was informed that I could be “aggressive" sometimes. When I asked for direct examples and who the feedback came from, none were provided and I was assured it did not come from my supervisor (the only person whose feedback mattered, in this case). However, they did say my supervisor believed I needed to learn more about the industry, despite that depth of knowledge not being necessary for success in my role.

Spoiler alert: the feedback did come from my direct supervisor — a man whose leadership style did not include supporting strong women...or women at all. No examples were provided because there were none, only his opinion. I found this out later, and the timing was…interesting. A few months later, that supervisor was terminated after an internal investigation revealed who he truly was. Shortly after, I received a substantial raise — no role change, no sudden glow-up in performance.

Translation? The problem was never me. And that’s a lesson I take into every negotiation and review: always discern where the criticism and praise you receive come from before you attribute value to their words. Discernment is how you protect your peace and your power.

Hold onto these like that $8 iced coffee you’re obsessed with:

1. Never forget that you’re a fu*cking bad*ss. Especially when men try to put you down.

2. Power ≠ credibility: not everyone in authority has earned it.

Congrats, you did it! You’ve revised your resume, aced the interviews, and the offer is finally in your hands…but, it’s lower than you expected.
That’s fine. Take a breath, sip that overpriced latte, and remember: they offered you the job because you’re worth it. Now it’s your turn to make sure they know it.

This isn’t “blind confidence” like some silly boy; you worked hard for this opportunity, and now you need to advocate for yourself.
You’ve earned this offer. You’re allowed to ask for what you deserve.

First off, reframe your mind around job offers. Instead of referring to it as “THE” job offer, start calling it the “initial offer.” This shift in terminology will subtly reframe your mind into a more optimistic POV. All of a sudden, it's not your only option — you don't have to accept it as is!

From Initial Offer —> Dream Offer:

1. Review everything like a CEO
Take a fine-tooth comb to your offer and benefits package. Know exactly what’s on the table, not just the dolla dolla bills — salary, PTO, bonuses, perks, remote work, insurance plan coverages, everything! Knowledge is power, girly pop.

Tip: If they didn't already give you the health insurance coverage details, ASK FOR IT. You need to know how changing to their health insurance will affect your life.

2. Decide your non-negotiables
Ask yourself: “Where does this offer fall short of my expectations and needs?” “What can I compromise on?" Think of it like dating: some things are preferences and some are actually crucial. He’s got 4 kids and 3 baby mamas? BOY BYE! They’re expecting you to work OT without time and a half, or use your cell for work without compensating the bill? Thank you, NEXT!

3. Identify your leverage
Babes, they offered you the job because you’re worth it. Lean on the wins from your interviews and career achievements to remind them why you’re worth your asking price — not their offer. Remember to frame it as value you bring, not greed.

4. Lead with benefits (if salary feels sticky)
One thing my favorite Business prof taught us was that negotiating for added benefits (PTO, flexible hours, remote days) is always easier than increasing your salary. It’s cheaper for companies and doesn’t immediately impact budgets the way a salary bump does. Don’t skip negotiating these “soft benefits” — they contribute more to your happiness and long-term success than you may think.

Big Sis Advice: If there are any “verbal privileges” you really love, ask them to write it into your job offer. This secures your privileges if there’s a bad apple that ruins it for everyone later on.

5. Script your ask (without sounding desperate)
Speak clearly and politely, but assertively. Keep the focus on your needs and the company’s flexibility. This planning is extremely important. If you reach out to HR to negotiate your offer without having a concrete understanding of what you need to be happy and feel valued, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Real example that you can adapt for your needs:

“All my family live out of state. I’d like more PTO and the opportunity to work remote, if necessary, to ensure I have ample time with them. I understand [Company] has a verbal privilege for remote work, and that this position is in-person. I also understand how quickly privileges like these can be revoked based on one person’s misuse. It would give me great comfort to know that this important benefit is protected if I come to work for [Company]. If you are hesitant to include it in writing without a maximum of days outlined, please feel free to put a limit on it. I intend to go back home about X times a year, so I believe X days is fair. I am extremely excited that this position has been offered to me, and I would be SO happy to accept an agreeable offer from [Company]. Please let me know if you need anything else to discuss this with the hiring team. I look forward to reviewing a revised offer!"

Note: Always address negotiations to the company, rather than the person directly. This removes the personal opinion from the equation and focuses everything at the company’s resources instead.

I know what you’re thinking: What if I negotiate and they retract the offer? Honey, if they have zero communication skills, do you really want to work for them?
Honestly…red flag!

6. Stay calm and professional
Negotiation isn’t a sprint. HR is often the middle person — treat them well, be clear, and follow up. Think of them like your internal advocate, and they’ll help you get the offer you deserve.

7. Remember your worth
Never forget: you are an absolute boss a** lady who deserves her dream job! It’s your responsibility to remind them who they’re hiring. If you don’t — who TF will?
Take my advice and go get that dream job offer!

Next up: “Surviving Company Events,” where I’ll give you the best advice on how to use these often dreadful company-sanctioned events to increase your positive perception at work instead of compromising it.

Let me be your guide. Learn from my mistakes—no fluff, no BS. Catapult your future with lessons I learned the hard way. Stick with me and you’ll get the stories, the nuance, and maybe even some solid advice(; No gatekeeping here—just love, light, and a little humor.

Until next time, girls.

—Your Corporate Big Sis

The views, opinions, and stories expressed in this post are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of the author’s current employer or colleagues unless explicitly stated. This content is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental unless otherwise noted.