7 Rules to Live By to Protect Your Professional Peace

I didn’t grow up learning how to write a resume, market myself, or interview with executives. There's no guidebook to help you when you’re the first in your family to step into a corporate office. You learn by messing up, getting burned, and watching office politics unfold like a bad reality show. Everything I know about the professional world, I’ve picked up the hard way. I’ve had to figure out how to survive—and thrive—in corporate chaos without mentors, insider knowledge, or a family group chat full of career advice.

Consider me your big sister in this messy world of office politics nobody wants to be party to. I’m giving you the goods; no BS, just the advice I wish I’d had when I started.

These are the rules I live by to protect my peace in a world that doesn’t always make room for it. They’ve saved me more than once, and if they help you avoid even one awkward HR meeting or post-happy-hour regret, then I’ve done my job.

1) Don't Meet Coworkers Outside of Work

The key thing to remember here is that coworkers are not your friends, nor are they an acceptable dating pool; they are coworkers. There’s a difference between being friendly and being friends…learn the difference early. When lines get blurred and you don’t know how to pull the reins back in, you’re left with a sticky situation. You have 3 options: Dive in, because you already went too far! Put an awkward stop to everything and face the music every time you see them in the office. Or find a new job to avoid them! When push comes to shove, these people will act for themselves first. If you come between them and their promotion, guess who they’re choosing? This doesn’t have to be as nasty as it sounds, but oftentimes it is. The nicest person in the office can also be the nastiest one — be careful who you confide in at work...if anyone at all. That innocent lunch with the ladies in your department might seem like the perfect time to open up, but say the wrong thing and you might as well hand them a matchbook. The more fuel you give them, the faster they’ll burn it.

2) Don’t Talk About Your Dating Life

As long as you involve your personal life at work, you’ll see it pop up in your professional life. A good rule of thumb to remember is that what you willingly speak about (whispered to one or shouted in front of many) is treated as fair game to your coworkers. Don’t even mention it if you aren’t comfortable with everyone in the company knowing about it. When you start talking about your dating life at work, your colleagues assume that you are okay with them making comments about it — or worse, suggestions and blind date offers. These might seem nice at first, but just know that it may come with major ramifications.

3) Don’t Talk About Your Family Drama

Likewise, your personal life is not your work and vice versa. Keep them separate and you’ll have much more peace in life. The best part? When one is giving you grief, you can lean into the other for a reprieve from the chaos. This goes for that “Work Bestie” you thought you had, as well. Ideally, if you’ve been following this guide, you won’t feel close enough to anyone to call them that. If you do, it will be purely from how great you are at working together.

4) If It Doesn’t Concern You, Keep it to Yourself

Thumper’s momma said it best, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” Keeping your mouth shut when you hear interesting conversations at work is THE BEST thing you can do to protect your peace and your job. When word starts to spread around the office about “he said/she said” you want your name left out of all that nonsense. I totally understand the allure of wanting to hear all the gossip about your coworkers, but keep those urges to watching Love Island and KUWTK. Trust me, you’re much better living a life of blissful ignorance.

5) Always Leave Work Functions Early

Remain mysterious! Work is not your life, but bonding with some coworkers is key at these events (think about making strategic connections with people in positions you aspire to attain). However, when your coworkers start to abuse the open bar, you might as well be wasted with them - because that is how they will treat you and everyone around them. You cannot control drunk people, so to maintain your control you must remove yourself from the situation. I know, I know — it sucks to end the fun early. I sound like such a grandma, but the truth is: Your peace will last much longer when you follow this rule. Plus, what’s better? Staying too long and being part of the office gossip on Monday (regardless of how much you did/didn't drink) — or heading home early, taking off that make up, and enjoying an episode of your favorite show with your fur babies and a Korean face mask? I don’t think there’s much to argue about here.

6) Document Everything

It’s not that everyone is out to get you, but more about ensuring you’re prepared for anything and everything! You don’t need to be paranoid or on guard, but you should remain observant. This will help you as you progress up the ladder into management positions, as well. That one coworker has been asking you out to lunch and you keep politely declining or coming up with a reasonable excuse? Start a Google Doc or Sheet on your own personal account with dates and details. You’ll never be upset that you spent 5 minutes documenting each weird thing that happened when you finally get pulled in by HR for some random complaint. Being able to show that there may be a bias against you or that there have been repeated, targeted actions from others will save you. If you never have to use it, then you’re lucky! If one day you do, you’ll be thanking your lucky stars you were prepared. I always say “Past me is always looking out for future me.” That’s why present me is always prepared(;

7) Never Stay +15 Minutes Late

This really is a no brainer, but I felt I needed to mention it! When I started my professional career in 2021, I brought my hourly service industry work ethic with me. That’s just not sustainable! When you work hourly, you get paid OT. If you’re in the service industry, you likely get tips, too. This doesn’t happen when you have an office job. Some are hourly, but they definitely don’t earn tips and the OT doesn’t kick in after 8 hours (subject to each state, of course). Let’s assume you make $25/hr. You have to ask yourself: “Is it really worth another $6.25 to stay 15 mins past?” I will say, you can occasionally cheat the clock a bit if your org rounds up every 7 minutes (clock out at 5:07, get paid through 5:15). BUT, is it really worth it? If we're thinking long term, this is damaging the expectation you are setting more than it is helping it. Your boss and coworkers will see you as the mule for more work. “Oh, it’s okay we can let Kirsten do that because she’s usually here late anyway.” You’re the first person they'll think of when extra tasks are up for assignment. Not necessarily more responsibility or better work — just MORE. You don’t want to have the conversation with your boss and HR about why you’re consistently accruing OT; it looks like you can’t get your job done within your scheduled work hours. It’s not a good look. Your coworkers who have kids aren’t staying late because they have lives to get back to — so get back to yours! I bet it's much more exciting than theirs(;

The professional world can be overwhelming — especially when you're figuring it out alone. Corporate life doesn’t come with a manual, so I’m writing the one I wish I had. These 7 rules are your starter pack for surviving the corporate circus as a stand-alone woman. Every single one comes from experience — some funny, some cringey, yet all of them real. And there’s more tea to spill…

Stay tuned for deep dives on setting boundaries without burning bridges, surviving happy hour without oversharing, and more.

Let me be your guide. Learn from my mistakes — no fluff, no BS. Catapult your future with lessons I learned the hard way. Stick with me and you’ll get the stories, the nuance, and maybe even some solid advice(; No gatekeeping here — just love, light, and a little humor.

Until next time, girls.
—Your Corporate Big Sis


The views, opinions, and stories expressed in this post are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of the author’s current employer or colleagues unless explicitly stated. This content is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental unless otherwise noted.